Official Blog of History 121
Western Civilization to 1600
Monday, April 14, 2014
Heloise and Abelard (extra credit)
Choose one or two of the letters of Heloise and Abelard at the link here. What did you find particularly interesting in these letters? Does anything particularly surprise you?
I found it very interesting how easily it is to see how much these two love each other. Sometimes it isn't easy to show emotions on paper, but these two don't have any trouble expressing their love for each other. I really liked the part in the second letter where Heloise wrote to Abelard saying that reading his first letter brought back all the pain of her misfortunes from the past, and then in Abelard's response he said that he didn't mean to bring back all the pain and he wanted to wipe away all of her tears.
The letter that I read was very interesting. He wrote to her that they needed to stop writing each other. They gave there lives to Jesus Christ and need to do it purely and not think about the past they had together. Although he was saying this, to me he appeared heart broken and did not want to let her go and only wanted to be with her.
What i found interesting about these letters was how faithful they were to Jesus and God, how they wanted to be weeded to the heavens, and how they put their faith before each others love. The two of them did want to be together but they knew that they could not be because of their following to God.
In reading the first letter, from Abelard to Philintus, what I see is not quite love, but it appears to me that Heloise could almost be considered a victim of Abelard’s narcissistic behavior and manipulative tendencies – he is clearly obsessed with her from the very beginning and is willing to do anything and everything to receive her for himself; not as a stalker, but she is something that Abelard “wants” and he will almost stop at nothing in order to “obtain” her. Although almost 20 years her senior, he uses his education and his philosophical reputation as a way to “reel” Heloise in for his personal needs, clearly knowing that if he were to pursue a romantic relationship with her in a ‘normal’ sense, he would be denied most likely by not only Heloise, but by her guardian/Uncle, as well.
The very fact he finds a way to meet her through her uncle, and is effective in his “philosophical words” in “manipulating” his way into providing her education – even paying her Uncle! Who, as an educator pays someone else to teach as a matter of furthering one’s education and helping to create a proper lady of the day? However, it’s a tad creepy that after Uncle finds out about the beginning of their love affair that Abelard is essentially banished from the home, however, “The next day I provided myself with a private lodging near the loved house, being resolved not to abandon my prey.” While I understand that the word prey is being used as a ‘love’ word, the technical definition of prey is something that is hunted for food! Again, going back to the narcissistic manipulation, he is going to do anything to ‘obtain’ Heloise, his prey (ewww!)
Abelard seems to think that he can just about manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what “he” desires to get to Heloise. A clear example is his attempt to persuade Heloise’s servant by bribing her with gold and silver, but she won’t submit to his manipulation – “'You are mistaken,' said she, smiling and shaking her head, 'you do not know me.” However, ironically, Agaton, Heloise’s servant, tries to use her own manipulation to gain Abelard’s love and adoration – who knows if it was for her own gain, or merely to piss off Heloise, but Abelard is confused and doesn’t bite at her advances. Continuing on, Abelard continues his manipulative ways in order to obtain Heloise, even going so far as to take her away to Brittany in hopes of marrying her, of which she has no desire, and all without her Uncle’s knowledge.
Almost ironically, the one thing that maintains Abelard’s manhood is also violently ripped from him by Heloise’s uncle – revenge for taking his niece without his knowledge? Perhaps, Fulburt’s way of telling Abelard that you don’t always get what you want? “I suffered the most shameful punishment that the revenge of an enemy could invent; in short, without losing my life, I lost my manhood. So cruel an action escaped not justice, the villain suffered the same mutilation, poor comfort for so irretrievable an evil. I confess to you that shame more than any sincere penitence made me resolve to hide myself from the sight of men, yet could I not separate myself from my Heloise. Jealousy took possession of my mind, and at the very expense of her happiness I decreed to disappoint all rivals. Before I put myself in a cloister I obliged her to take the habit and retire into the nunnery of Argenteuil.” This last sentence, in my opinion, is the demise of the narcissist….if he can’t be happy, then no one else that he claims to “love” (manipulate, stalk) will be allowed to be happy either, yet he hides behind the guise of God and religion, typical. The way I see it, Fulburt was acting in a protective manner, trying to keep Heloise from a fate of continual manipulation that she may have ignored as lust and love. The back-and-forth, constant tugging, re-entry and revolving door of the narcissistic relationship continues into the additional letters, where Heloise clearly cannot keep herself out of the grasp of Abelard, regardless that she is cloistered away.
I found it very interesting how easily it is to see how much these two love each other. Sometimes it isn't easy to show emotions on paper, but these two don't have any trouble expressing their love for each other. I really liked the part in the second letter where Heloise wrote to Abelard saying that reading his first letter brought back all the pain of her misfortunes from the past, and then in Abelard's response he said that he didn't mean to bring back all the pain and he wanted to wipe away all of her tears.
ReplyDeleteThe letter that I read was very interesting. He wrote to her that they needed to stop writing each other. They gave there lives to Jesus Christ and need to do it purely and not think about the past they had together. Although he was saying this, to me he appeared heart broken and did not want to let her go and only wanted to be with her.
ReplyDeleteBethany Crosswait
What i found interesting about these letters was how faithful they were to Jesus and God, how they wanted to be weeded to the heavens, and how they put their faith before each others love. The two of them did want to be together but they knew that they could not be because of their following to God.
ReplyDeleteIn reading the first letter, from Abelard to Philintus, what I see is not quite love, but it appears to me that Heloise could almost be considered a victim of Abelard’s narcissistic behavior and manipulative tendencies – he is clearly obsessed with her from the very beginning and is willing to do anything and everything to receive her for himself; not as a stalker, but she is something that Abelard “wants” and he will almost stop at nothing in order to “obtain” her. Although almost 20 years her senior, he uses his education and his philosophical reputation as a way to “reel” Heloise in for his personal needs, clearly knowing that if he were to pursue a romantic relationship with her in a ‘normal’ sense, he would be denied most likely by not only Heloise, but by her guardian/Uncle, as well.
ReplyDeleteThe very fact he finds a way to meet her through her uncle, and is effective in his “philosophical words” in “manipulating” his way into providing her education – even paying her Uncle! Who, as an educator pays someone else to teach as a matter of furthering one’s education and helping to create a proper lady of the day? However, it’s a tad creepy that after Uncle finds out about the beginning of their love affair that Abelard is essentially banished from the home, however, “The next day I provided myself with a private lodging near the loved house, being resolved not to abandon my prey.” While I understand that the word prey is being used as a ‘love’ word, the technical definition of prey is something that is hunted for food! Again, going back to the narcissistic manipulation, he is going to do anything to ‘obtain’ Heloise, his prey (ewww!)
Abelard seems to think that he can just about manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what “he” desires to get to Heloise. A clear example is his attempt to persuade Heloise’s servant by bribing her with gold and silver, but she won’t submit to his manipulation – “'You are mistaken,' said she, smiling and shaking her head, 'you do not know me.” However, ironically, Agaton, Heloise’s servant, tries to use her own manipulation to gain Abelard’s love and adoration – who knows if it was for her own gain, or merely to piss off Heloise, but Abelard is confused and doesn’t bite at her advances. Continuing on, Abelard continues his manipulative ways in order to obtain Heloise, even going so far as to take her away to Brittany in hopes of marrying her, of which she has no desire, and all without her Uncle’s knowledge.
Almost ironically, the one thing that maintains Abelard’s manhood is also violently ripped from him by Heloise’s uncle – revenge for taking his niece without his knowledge? Perhaps, Fulburt’s way of telling Abelard that you don’t always get what you want? “I suffered the most shameful punishment that the revenge of an enemy could invent; in short, without losing my life, I lost my manhood. So cruel an action escaped not justice, the villain suffered the same mutilation, poor comfort for so irretrievable an evil. I confess to you that shame more than any sincere penitence made me resolve to hide myself from the sight of men, yet could I not separate myself from my Heloise. Jealousy took possession of my mind, and at the very expense of her happiness I decreed to disappoint all rivals. Before I put myself in a cloister I obliged her to take the habit and retire into the nunnery of Argenteuil.” This last sentence, in my opinion, is the demise of the narcissist….if he can’t be happy, then no one else that he claims to “love” (manipulate, stalk) will be allowed to be happy either, yet he hides behind the guise of God and religion, typical. The way I see it, Fulburt was acting in a protective manner, trying to keep Heloise from a fate of continual manipulation that she may have ignored as lust and love. The back-and-forth, constant tugging, re-entry and revolving door of the narcissistic relationship continues into the additional letters, where Heloise clearly cannot keep herself out of the grasp of Abelard, regardless that she is cloistered away.